Like any shit-kicking dickhead from the Lone Star State, I’ve been known to take some small pride in the fact that, whatever the state’s numerous deficiencies may be, Texas is, and always shall be, “Bigger Than France.” For those of you who don’t already know, this slogan is emblazoned on bumper stickers and t-shirts, which are meant to assuage the shame of being lorded over by some of the most grotesque mutants in U.S. political history. Yes, Greg Abbott and company have essentially reduced the state to a penal colony, climate change has transformed the landscape into a slow cooker (brisket, anyone?), and Elon Musk may appropriate your property for his brainless pursuit of space travel or commandeer your uterus for his birth-maxxing eugenics program, but at least, geographically, Texas is bigger, if not better, than the nation those croissant-eating bastards on the other side of the Atlantic call home.
Another ostensible check in Texas’s win column in the ongoing Franco-Texas conflict should be complete and total rock and roll superiority. After all, the state has made legitimate and lasting contributions to the genre, while baguettes, mimes, and existentialism—France’s main cultural exports—don’t exactly tip the scale. Well, consider Texas now equally fucked in this department thanks to the release of the self-titled debut album by, you guessed it, FRENCH garage rock group Prisoner. Layering a Courtney Barnett-style deadpan delivery over surf guitar and dance-punk rhythms, Prisoner sounds something like Gang of Four’s rhythm section locked into a Neu-esque groove while backing up the B-52s. Throw in some feminist vitriol, high-precision instrumental execution, and immersive atmospherics, and you wind up with Prisoner’s hearty bouillabaisse (sorry) of garage-psych intensity.
So, yes, life in Texas is looking and feeling a lot more like Hell with every passing day, and now Prisoner has thrown one more humiliation on top of this pile of misery. The only way things could get any worse is if France somehow annexed Belgium and managed to eliminate the one thing Texans can use to comfort themselves as they sweat to death in Joe Rogan’s comedy gulag. God willing, this won’t happen. After all, hasn’t Prisoner already made them suffer enough?
Links of interest:
https://www.instagram.com/prisoner_france/
https://orcd.co/prisonereurope
https://open.spotify.com/album/718yk8aZkB9HNwBXNiGZ0I